5 Ways to Survive This “Unsurvivable” Life!

When everything goes wrong, how do you not lose your head (figuratively, or literally) and just get things figured out? I have a number of young people that I work with on a regular basis, and it seems that at the ripe old age of late teen and barely 20 something, they have multiple midlife crisis a day! Needless to say, the drama is a little hard to handle at times and goes so far as to begin affecting their status as employees. Does this sound like you or someone you know?

Life happens, and the question is how do you live through things like a wrecked car, a bad roommate, or seemingly more bills than money, and come out on the other end without being broken, mad at the world, or convinced you will never make it out of the ramen noodle and paper plate stage of life? Here are a few tips.

1. Take a deep breath! Seriously, you need to take a deep breath. Breath in deep through the nose. Breath out slowly through your mouth. If you are so stressed that you can’t even take a breath, then you either need to get some serious immediate help, or you need to figure out how to get rid of some problems, like, yesterday!

2. Ask yourself “What is the worst that could happen?” and it can help put things in perspective, and maybe even help you come up with some creative options for solving the problem. If you have a roommate that is not paying their share of rent, you need to ask yourself “What is the worst possible outcome of this situation?” Well, you could end up on the street having to live in your car. Okay, so now what are you going to do about it? You have several options here. Kick out your roommate and find a better one. Find another place to live before getting evicted. Continue to pay the rent yourself and let them ride on your hard work. Now it becomes very simple. You decide which outcome you want to have happen, and you do it. This approach can be taken to almost any situation; it helps you gain perspective, and understand that usually the worst is not as bad as you think, or if it is really bad, there are almost always choices that you can make to control the outcome. The hardest part about this is that once you have thought this through, you are now responsible for what happens.

3. Don’t take responsibility for anyone but you. Most often when I see young people who are in a bad situation, they are either not taking responsibility for their own actions, OR they are trying to take responsibility for someone else’s stupidity, i.e. a friend is stupid and wrecks their car because of bad driving, or loses their license because of a DUI, or is late for preparing for a test. People put their own job, class test results, or ability to pay rent at risk, to “help” someone who is “down.” These “friends” are not going to learn if you work your butt off trying to remove the consequences of their stupidity by trying to take the punishment for their actions. As a matter of fact, you are helping them stay irresponsible. So go to work yourself and they can get their own ride. Pay your own rent and kick them out, and study for your own test, instead of helping them with theirs that they should have started sooner. At the end of the day they will complain about the world if you help them, or complain about you if you don’t help them. So don’t sacrifice yourself to the god of their stupidity. Let them LEARN from their mistakes, just like you did!

4. Don’t make excuses. So often when someone comes to me and wants to tell me about something that they are going through and how they don’t know what to do, etc., all they are looking for is someone to complain to. Please don’t come and complain to me, unless you are looking for solutions, because I am going to offer them. And then the truth comes out: they enjoy the drama. You know how I know? Because when a solution is provided, or the complainer is asked to think critically about how the problem might be solved or resolved, they make 101 excuses as to why they are the exception to every method of solving their problem. It is almost as though, if they didn’t have problems to complain about they wouldn’t know what to do with their lives. If someone gives you solution, stop trying to make it not work, and start making it work. The number one roadblock to problem solving is the person not really wanting the problem solved.

5. Give yourself a break. You need to realize that where you are right now, is where you are right now. Allow yourself to have made a mistake. You know what? You have learned what not to do next time. Expecting to have all the answers is like expecting a baby to know how to walk and talk when they are born. We don’t expect those things, because we know they have not had the experiences that give them the information they need to know how to walk or talk. How is being an adult any different? If you have never been in a tough relationship before, how can you already know how to handle it? If you have never had to juggle a job and class and hobbies and friend time, don’t you think it would be normal to have some scheduling conflicts that you have to work through and figure out? If you are new to a job, should you have all the answers to every customer question your first day, week, or even month? Give yourself the grace to live life and learn as you go. As long as you ARE learning, then you don’t have to feel bad about what you don’t know.

These are my top 5 tips to survive the unsurvivable, and come out smarter on the other side. If you do these things, you will be so far ahead of everyone around you, it will look like they are going backwards! I believe in what you are capable of, now go believe in who God made you to be and live it!

 

If any of this sounds like you or someone you know, and you want information and methods on how to implement these and other behaviors to lower stress, and see the light at the end of the tunnel, then click here to subscribe to my FREE course 14 Days to Stress Less and Achieve Your Dreams!

Why Do We Wait To Get Better?

Why do we wait to start change?

Does setting a starting date for being more responsible with money, eating right, or getting up early make it easier to start? Does waiting to forgive someone make it easier to reconcile? Do we need to wait for someone’s permission to value ourselves or take responsibility?

 

Change can be scary for a myriad of reasons, but instead of focusing on the fear, why not try looking at the results we are missing by not working to be better?

 

Recently I have had two friends unexpectedly pass away, a brother in a nearly fatal accident, and a brother and sister in law in a car-totaling accident. All of these events remind me that life only comes once, and it goes by so much faster than we think it does. It is important to maintain a balance between enjoying the current moment and working to make the next one better. Too often, we use the excuse that we are living in the moment to let ourselves out of improving ourselves.

 

Imagine living until age ninety and looking back realizing that the entirety of your life, you were afraid you had nothing to offer the world, and so you just lived day to day eating, sleeping, going to work, and being afraid of what people thought of you. Imagine if Michelangelo had never given the world the Sistine Chapel because he didn’t think he had anything to offer the world. What if Benjamin Franklin had not invented bifocals because he was afraid that if he failed people would think he was just a crazy old man? These men did things that they were uniquely capable of doing. So what makes you think that you have nothing to develop, or that if you have something, it is your right to keep it from the world?

 

While the things done by “great” people seem much bigger than managing your time, controlling your weight, or learning to be confident in yourself, it all starts somewhere. It starts with trial and error. It starts with discipline and failure. It starts in the very beginning with knowing that you are worth your own effort! You are worth changing for the better. It is good, great, and profitable for you to focus on yourself, developing what you have, so you can then in turn develop others.

 

To go back to the question about why change is scary, it usually boils down to people either being afraid they are not worth putting in the effort to change themselves, or they are afraid that others won’t like them anymore if they work hard at being the best versions of themselves.

 

Don’t let fear of failure or of others cheat the world out of the greatness that God created in you! Be brave. Work hard. Change!

 

If you are tired of waiting, sick of letting life go by you and want to start the change in your life, then click here to take my easy, FREE course! Don’t wait for the right time! Make the time!